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Freud reckoned people have three levels in their personality. The 'ego' is the conscious part that we think of as the self. We also have the 'super-ego', often called the conscience, and the 'id'. Now the 'id' is our collection of instinct, animal, biological drives and in theory the ego is balanced between the id and the super-ego. In some, the super-ego severely limits what a person will allow him or herself to do; in others, the id has almost free rein.What I'm saying here is that for almost a year my conscience had prevented me from even thinking about any of the girls as potential partners, but Julie's distress had weakened my resolve to keep my distance. Her physical contact made me aware – you might say, painfully aware – of her desirability and my 'lackanookie' condition. The last shreds of restraint dissolved in the effects of that kiss and when she took her lips away ... not far ... I followed and kissed her back. She tasted sweet, with hints of what we'd eaten for supper.. She shook out her short, brown hair, teasing it with her free hand. Her sister Maya might keep telling her to try it long, but Bailey liked the utilitarian cut. And it was cute, whatever Maya said. Well, Courtney had said so too, and that had worked out so very well in the end. Bailey squelched that line of thinking before it could go any further. The whole point of coming out to the ocean was to forget about things like that. It counted as meditation, floating on the board and waiting for just the right wave to drop into. Forget Courtney forget Courtney don’t think about Courtney… It wasn’t going to work. She sighed. There really wasn’t anything to do about it. A month out and she still wasn’t doing any better. She wasn’t going to forget her ex anytime soon. ‘Hi Bails. I… I guess you’re wondering where I was last night.’ ‘Oh no Courtney. It wasn’t like we had plans, like it was our anniversary or anything!’ Bailey closed her eyes, willing the thoughts away again. She focused.
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